A Divorce Glossary

Divorce lawyers and law firms can provide a great deal of divorce information and divorce advice; but sometimes, all that legal jargon can be confusing to say the least, not to mention intimidating. Getting a good, low cost divorce settlement requires planning and research.

So, why not start here? We have provided you with a good glossary of legal terms related to the process of getting a divorce:

Alimony
A regular support payment by one divorced spouse to the other

Annulment
A court declaration stating that a legal marriage never existed

Arbitration
Having a disputed matter settled by a third party who is not a judge.

Attachment
A court-ordered seizure of a debtor’s property.

Attorney at Law
A state-licensed advocate who is hired to prepare, manage and try a case in court.

Alternative Dispute Resolution
A process of negotiation, mediation and arbitration, in lieu of a trial, as a way to resolve issues pertaining to a judgment of divorce.

Case Information Statement (CIS)
A financial document specifying the details of your respective incomes, expenses, assets, and debts.

Child Support
Money paid by one ex-spouse to another toward their child’s expenses.

Common Law Marriage
A marriage without a license or ceremony in which the couple cohabitated for a minimum number of years (varies from state to state).

Default
Failure to do something (such as make a payment) on time.

Discovery
The legal procedures used to gather all the facts necessary to settle a case or to prepare the case for trial.

Dissolution of Marriage (Divorce)
The legal separation of a married couple so that each one may be free to marry again.

Equitable Distribution
A fair division of the assets acquired during your marriage.

Inventory and Appraisement
A list of jointly-owned property along with the current value of each one.

Joint Legal Custody
An agreement in which a divorced couple share the rights and responsibilities of making major decisions about their child’s life.

Joint Physical Custody
The shared right to have a child live with one or the other parent at different times of the week or year.

Judgement of Divorce
A legal document following a settlement or trial that grants a divorce and states the court’s decisions with regard to alimony, support, custody, visitation rights, and equitable distribution.

Maintenance
Alimony or child support payments

Marital Settlement Agreement
An out-of-court agreement that resolves all issues surrounding a divorce.

Mediation
A process by which a dispute is resolved and an agreement between two parties is reached with the assistance of a disinterested third party known as a mediator.

Non-Marital Property
Property that belongs exclusively to either the husband or the wife and, as such, cannot be divided between the two.

No-Fault Divorce
A divorce granted with the mutual agreement of two spouses, or when one spouse has left the marriage for a certain period of time (varies by state).

Rehabilitative Alimony
Alimony that helps the ex-spouse to become self-reliant.

Separation
The absence of one spouse from the household before a divorce.

Separation Agreement
A temporary agreement with regard to support, child custody and property for the period between the onset of separation and the granting of a divorce.

Spouse
A husband or wife

Support
Payment due to one spouse from the other regarding housing, food, clothing, and other expenses.

Transfer
To switch legal ownership from one person to another.

Verification Statement
An oath declaring that the information stated in a document is true.

Visitation
The right for a non-custodial parent to visit his or her child. 

10 Tips for Winning at Custody

Winning at Custody is one of the most difficult issues parents confront in divorce. In many cases, both parents want custody and are willing to spend whatever it takes to win. Custody is all about what is best for the children - and that involves proving that you are the best parent - i.e. that the other parent is not as good a parent as you and/or that the other parent is just simply a bad parent.

Recommended tips for winning at custody are: 

1. If you are not involved in your children's lives now, you are not getting custody from a judge. If you are a working parent who lets your spouse handle all of the details of parenting, you are not prepared to win at custody. You must either change your objectives or change your parenting. If you really want custody, get involved now - in all aspects of your children's lives. Get involved in your children's schooling. Attend their extra curricular events. Take them to the doctor and dentist. Get to know what professionals your children see and be involved with them?

2. Make sure that you are not exposing your children to unsafe or unhealthy environments when they are with you. Are you involved in another relationship? Has there been more than one? Be very careful about exposing your children to your companion(s). Many judges, professionals, and other parents object to the children being subjected to other relationships too early in that process. More important, if you really want to win at custody, it should be because you want to spend time with your children parenting them. Spending time with someone else when you have the children is a recipe for losing at custody in court.

3. Do you put down your children's other parent when the children are with you - either consciously or subconsciously? If you do, stop. One sure way to lose at custody is to hurt the children's relationship with the other parent. A judge will consider whether a parent promotes or prevents the other parent's access to and relationship with the children when seeking custody.

4. Winning at custody requires that you keep a calendar for everything. You need to be able to look back and remember details when it comes time to litigage custody. If you do not know when you had the children, what events you attended, where they were or you were or allof the times your spouse was not timely for a pick up or drop off, you will only hurt your own case. You can keep track on your own calendar, with your own journal, or with a professionally managed calendaring system. We do provide access to a professional calendaring system for custody cases on our web site at http://www.millenniumdivorce.com/custody-planner.asp.

5. Be on time...Be on time....Be on time. Few issues cause as much conflict as a parent who is persistently late in picking up or dropping off children. It irks the judges, it creates arguments with your ex or soon to be ex, and it stresses out the children. So, Be on time.

6. Be flexible. If the other parent wants to switch weekends or weekdays, do it if you can manage your schedule. When the time comes to tell the judge why you should have custody, you can tell the judge that you are the parent who makes sure that the schedule works. In a close case, this issue makes a difference.

7. Do not involve your children in the issues that are pending in court or with attorneys. Courts generally are very opposed to the children knowing the details of what are essentially adult issues. Children should be told that both parents love them and want to see them - that's it. The children may see a psychologist and/or an attorney or other professional if the court directs that. The children can talk to those people about your case - you should not be giving them the details, especially if giving the details involves denigrating the other parent.

8. Winning at custody requires considering one other very important factor: where do the children want to live. It is not a good idea to coach your children on this issue. They will have an opportunity to tell what they want to either the court, their attorney or a psychologist. However, it is a good idea to know what they want. If they want to live with their other parent, you should not spend all of your time and money pursuing custody, unless you believe that it is unsafe or inappopriate for the children to live with that parent.

9. You do have to be willing to show why your children's other parent should not have custody. So, you need to keep track of whether that parent is on time, involved, and flexible with the schedule. If that parent has any issues that affect custody, such as a history of mental health issues which impact his or her ability to care for the children or alcohol or drug addictions, you need to let the court know. Other issues that can and do affect custody determinations include the number and frequency of romantic relationships and the epxosure of the children to those relationship, the proper supervision of the children, and ensuring that the children attend school and see professionals such as a doctor and dentist when necessary.

10. Above all else, hire a good attorney and be open and honest with your attorney. Listen to your attorney, not some friend or relative who is sure about what you should do because they had a friend or a relative who got a better deal. If you are paying your attorney, listen to what he or she has to say.